Tips for a New Democratic Majority

(Via Instapundit.)

Conrad's Tips for a New Democratic Majority:
1. Appoint Terry McAullife Party chairman for life. If McAuliffe isn't available, this guy would be great.
2. More Massachusetts liberals. Give Teddy his turn.
3. Explain to 51% of the electorate that they're stupid. They will eventually realize that you are smarter than they are and will vote as you tell them to. It has only taken them this long because they really are sooo fucking stoopid.
4. More CBS News exposes.
5. There's no such thing as too much Michael Moore.
6. A nationwide Guardian letter writing campaign.
7. Don't just legalize gay marriage, make it mandatory.
8. Can Bob Shrum run a campaign or what?
9. A federal law making rolling one's eyes a criminal offense.
10. "I'm Hillary Rodham Clinton and I'm reporting for duty."
11. Close the telepathic subliminal electioneering gap.

Hilarious.