Tuesday, October 05, 2004

Ad Report Card -- Slate

Body spray?


At 1:20 PM, Blogger Bo said...

I've never understood the metrosexual thing either, Nate, which I think is the point of your post. I've wondered if, in the post-9/11 world, advertisers have tried to shy away from the metrosexual schtick - Stevenson observes that this ad does just that - in favor of a more masculine appeal.

Honestly, I think I'd be up for looking a whole lot better and more refined every day if it didn't take so much time and money. Perhaps this is evidence of my un-metrosexualism, but I think it's ridiculous to spend extra money on body spray/body wash when good ol' Dial soap works just fine. Or to get up early each morning to wash your face with a special soap, and then use four different lotions and then spend several minutes trying on different outfits and fixing your hair. . .that's a lot of sleep you could be having.

My roommates both use these things called lupas or fupas or something, in tandem with body wash. It's like a washcloth for metrosexuals, I guess. What really got me was when I asked my roommate why he uses said lupa (or fupa or whatever it's called) and he said it was great for exfoliation. I laughed in his face, but I don't think he understood why I thought it was so funny.

By the way, I feel the same way about the hat-sideways (a la Ashton Kutcher) phenomenon. Which is one thing I like about the South - you folks don't seem to put up with much faddish horseshit when it comes to grooming and clothing habits.

I'd be interested to hear what everyone else things of this.

At 1:36 PM, Blogger Tortfeasor said...

I could not agree more with just about everything you said. I use the cheapest soap available so long as it doesn't make me break out in hives.

In my mind, men who obsess about their appearance aren't men at all -- they're chicks pretending to be men. Or men pretending to be chicks. (If I weren't suspicious my mom is reading this, I would have been more colorful there.) Whatever. The point is that perhaps the greatest God-given privilege of being born male is society's permission to be a slob. How some "men" are so willing to forfeit this privilege to appease chicks truly baffles me.

And you've got to be kidding -- your roommate actually said "it helps with exfoliation"? Laughing in his face = good; bitch-slapping his face = better. So not only do you put up with being the only tolerable human being on the editorial board, but you do the same at home? God bless you, my child.

At 2:19 PM, Blogger Bo said...

Ms. Ryan, if you're reading this, I apologize for my bad language above.

Nate: yeah, it's funny being around quasi-metrosexuals. I still go to the gym on a regular basis, having once again rejoined the single male demographic, and you would not believe the number of pure metrosexuals there. What's remarkable is that they masquerade as very manly guys - as weightlifters, and some of them are pretty big dudes. But there are a couple tip-offs that reveal their true metrosexuality (like you, I'd like to use more colorful words here too):

1) They flex for themselves in the mirror. I'm not making this up. I've seen several guys lift up their shirts so they can look at their stomach muscles. Other guys do the same with their arms. It's done in a conspicuous enough manner that anyone standing around can see them firsthand, which (you would think) would embarrass these narcissists, but I guess not. I've decided that one day, when these guys are subtly flexing for themselves in the mirrors, I'm going to walk up next to them, rip off my shirt and shorts, and start full-body flexing, complete with Mr. Universe poses and everything.

2) These guys shave their bodies. Now, it's one thing to shave your back (Ponderosa, don't worry, I imagine that I'll feel your pain too in a few years. I'm almost certain it's in my genes too), but these guys shave their arms and leg and armpits. At first I thought perhaps everyone in Iowa was just not hairy at all, but then I noticed a few kids had stubble on their legs. Stubble!! Personally, I can't imagine anything that screams "I'm a chick" more than shaving your arms and legs.

What's even more amazing to me is that girls can take these guys seriously. Any girl worth her salt (or worth dating) would laugh these faux-men back into the Banana Republic/Bath&Body Works store.

Perhaps I'm just getting old.


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